


Tony Wyzek and Tommy Martin's Big Switch

by reader1718



Category: No Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-05 14:35:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3123737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reader1718/pseuds/reader1718





	Tony Wyzek and Tommy Martin's Big Switch

Tony Wyzek and Tommy Martin's Big Switch: A Parent Trap/West Side Story crossover fanfiction

TONY WYZEK:a former gang leader from Westchester, New York; he lives with his father, Jack Wyzek; identical twin to Tommy Martin; allergic to blueberries; born June 25th; very good at blackjack

TOMMY MARTIN: a proper British gentleman from London, England; he lives with his mother, Jillian Martin; identical twin to Tony Wyzek; allergic to blueberries; born June 25th; very good at blackjack

JACK WYZEK:Tony and Tommy's father; Jillian's former husband; lives in Manhattan New York; works as a contractor

JILLIAN MARTIN:Tony and Tommy's mother; lives in London, England; designs wedding gowns; has a butler named Smethells

SMETHELLS: the Martin family's butler and Tommy's friend;he eventually falls for Chrissy

CHRISSY: the Wyzeks' housekeeper; she is one of the first to find out Tony and Tommy have switched; she eventually falls for Smethells

LAURA OWENS: a publicist from Manhattan who is hired to do some publicity for a new hotel that Jack's helping to build; she ends up engaged to Jack instead; very manipulative and selfish; a gold digger

THE TWO MR. JONESES: a father and son who run the camp where Tony and Tommy meet; they go crazy trying to tell the two boys apart

THE JETS:Tony's former gang, led by Riff; they are still his best friends even though he no longer runs with them

THE SHARKS: the rival gang to the Jets; they are led by Bernardo Nunez and include him, Chino, and Pepe

MARIA NUNEZ: Bernardo's sister; she falls for each twin thinking they are the same person, until she finds out there's two of them.

LOCATIONS:

CAMP WALKER: the camp where Tony meets Tommy; located in Cook Springs, Alabama (around the area of real-life camp Worldsong where I went to GA/Acteens camp)

WESTCHESTER, NEW YORK: Tony's home

LONDON, ENGLAND: Tommy's home

WESTCHESTER COUNTY AIRPORT: an airport in Westchester near where Tony lives

HEATHROW AIRPORT: an airport outside London; may change it to Gatwick, depending on proximity

THE PLAZA HOTEL: an expensive hotel in New York where Tony and Tommy try to get their parents back together

* * *

WESTCHESTER, NEW YORK—TONY WYZEK’S HOUSE

“You’re being sent where?” Riff asked his friend Tony Wyzek over the phone as Tony was packing up. “To Camp Walker—an all boys camp out in Cook Springs, Alabama. My dad says I spend too much time with you guys and don’t make any other friends. It’s just for the summer, though,” Tony replied. “What about all our plans?! This will totally ruin everything! You can’t go to camp now!” Riff protested. “Sorry guys. I can’t disobey my dad. Besides, the time will just fly by. You’ll see,” Tony reassured them. Tony was twelve and would be thirteen on June 25th. He had brown hair and brown eyes. He promised to write often and that seemed to reassure his friends somewhat. The next day, he boarded a plane for Alabama, where someone would be waiting at the airport to put him on the bus to Camp Walker. He got there late that afternoon, little suspecting the surprise he would find waiting for him.

 

CAMP WALKER, COOK SPRINGS, ALABAMA

Immediately upon arriving, his duffel bag got piled under everyone else’s and he had to enlist help to get it out. He was then given his cabin assignment—Cherokee cabin—by the Jones father and son that ran the camp. He was so distracted by all of this that he failed to notice a fancy Bentley car pull up, with a genuine English butler at the wheel. Out of the Bentley stepped a young thirteen year-old British teenager with brown hair and brown eyes, who looked thrilled to be there. This was Thomas (Tommy) Martin from London, England, the son of Jillian Martin. The butler—Smethells—quickly went over Jillian’s list to make sure Tommy had everything, they performed their secret handshake, and then he left. Tommy wound up assigned to Choctaw cabin and quickly went to unpack.

 

Things began to get strange at the camp that day at dinner when Tony wound up in front of Mr. Jones Senior and Tommy wound up behind him. Mr. Jones asked Tony if he wanted some of the blueberry pie they had for dessert that night and Tony told him, “No thanks. I’m allergic.” So he turned around and asked Tommy if he wanted some, to which Tommy also replied, “No thanks. I’m allergic.” “Yes, you already told me that. But how did you get over there?” the poor man asked, as Tony and Tommy looked similar to each other. He excused it as first day of camp nerves and put it out of his mind.

 

Two days later, though, things got really weird. Tony was fencing with a young boy and beating him easily. Finally, Tony won and the younger Mr. Jones asked if anyone else would like to try. Tommy immediately said, “I’ll take a whack at it,” and put on the protective gear. The two boys began to fence, circling around the camp and ending up with Tony falling in a water trough near one of the cabins. Tommy leaned over to help him out and Tony pulled him in instead, ending the match in a stalemate. They then took off their protective headgear and refused to look at each other. Mr. Jones made the two boys turn around and shake hands, which they did reluctantly. When they did, though, the two boys and the whole camp got a huge shock—Tony and Tommy looked exactly alike except for hair length and other things! Tony wondered what they were staring at and Tommy asked, “Don’t you see it?” “See what?” Tony asked. “The resemblance between us,” Tommy stated. “The resemblance between us?” Tony asked. Tommy nodded. “Turn sideways. Now the other way,” Tony said. Tommy obliged. “Well your eyes are much too far apart; your ears, well you’ll grow into them; your nose is way too big and those teeth. But you want to know the real difference between us?” Tony asked. “Let’s see...I know how to fence and you don’t or I have class and you don’t. Take your pick,” Tommy said. “Why I oughtta...” Tony started to say, irritated. Mr. Jones decided to break it up. “All right, all right. Break it up. Now Tony, Tommy. I mean, Tommy, Tony. I mean...whoa,” he said as he couldn’t tell one of them from the other. Finally, he sent all the campers on to the next activity, his head still spinning from trying to tell the two look-alikes apart during the fencing bout.

 

That night, Tommy was playing blackjack with several other campers and beating them all soundly. Finally, Tommy beat the last one and asked, “Any more takers?” “I’ll take a whack at it,” said a voice from the doorway—Tony. “Have a seat Tony,” Tommy said and Tony did. They played each other and were surprised to find they were equal in skill. “Let’s up the wager. Loser has to jump in the lake after the game,” Tony said. “Excellent,” Tommy said. “...buck naked,” Tony finished. “Even more excellent. Start unzipping Tony. Twenty points,” Tommy said. “Ooh, you’re good Martin, but just not good enough. In your honor...twenty-one points,” Tony said proudly. So Tommy ended up having to jump in the lake naked and Tony stole his clothes and hid them. “Fine. If that’s the way you want it, let the games begin,” Tommy said as he stood there shivering.

 

For the next week, the boys proceeded to play prank after prank on each other. One day, Tony turned the hose on a group Tommy was with and the next day Tommy got his friends to help him put all the beds on the roof of Tony’s cabin. Things went on like this, culminating in one super duper prank. It involved putting shaving cream in some people’s beds, tangling string around the whole cabin, dumping water balloons on people, putting honey on people, and rigging a bucket of chocolate syrup over the door to fall on anyone that entered the cabin. The crowning touch was a pull cord that caused feathers to rain down on them after being coated with chocolate syrup. Unfortunately, the counselors were the ones drenched and covered in feathers during a surprise inspection and this caused them to get fed up with Tony and Tommy’s prank war on each other. The two boys were moved to the isolation cabin together and forced to get along. At first things didn’t go well at all, but finally something happened that changed how they saw each other.

 

They were sitting in the cabin trying to ignore each other, when suddenly the wind started blowing extremely hard. Tony tried to get it closed, but he had to have Tommy’s help before he could close it. Tommy asked if any of Tony’s pictures were ruined and Tony replied that only the one of Angelina Jolie was. Tommy asked who she was and Tony couldn’t believe Tommy hadn’t heard of Angelina Jolie. He asked where London was anyway and Tommy replied that it was about 4,000 miles from there. He asked about Tony’s home and Tony told him about living in New York, then showed him a picture of his house with his dad facing away in the background. Tommy asked who the man in the picture was and Tony told him about his dad, then asked about Tommy’s father. “I don’t have a father actually. I mean, I suppose I had one once, but my parents divorced years ago,” Tommy replied. He then asked about Tony’s mother and Tony admitted he didn’t have one. His parents had been divorced for years too. Since it looked like it was going to be a long conversation, Tony offered Tommy some Oreos and Tommy gladly accepted, revealing that he ate them with yogurt at home. Tony then revealed that he did the same thing and Tommy said he couldn’t understand why people found that totally disgusting. Tony said he couldn’t either. “How old are you?” Tony asked. “I’ll be thirteen on June twenty-fifth,” Tommy replied. Tony spit out the yogurt he had in his mouth in shock and said, “So will I!” “Your birthday is June twenty-fifth?” Tommy asked. “Yeah, I remember when my dad always used to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me and he’d always make up funny lyrics. You know, like the ones about gray hair and stuff like that?” Tony said. He then noticed the change in the weather and said, “Hey, it’s stopped raining. You want to go get a popsicle or something?” “Would you stop thinking about your stomach at a time like this?” Tommy asked. “A time like what?” Tony asked. “Don’t you see what’s happening? I only have a mother and you only have a father. You’ve never seen your mom and I’ve never seen my dad. You have one whole picture of your mom and I have one whole picture of my dad. Well, at least yours is probably a whole picture. Mine’s a pathetic little thing ripped right down the middle. What are you rummaging in your trunk for?” Tommy asked, seeing Tony looking for something in his luggage. “This,” Tony replied, bringing out a picture that he held to his chest facing away from Tommy. “It’s a picture of my mom and it’s ripped too.” “Right down the middle?” Tommy asked. “Right down the middle,” Tony replied. Tommy went rummaging in his trunk for his own photo. He brought it out, clutching it to his chest with it’s back to Tony. “Okay. On the count of three we show them to each other. Ready?” Tony asked. “One, two, three,” both boys counted together and revealed the photos to each other. Each was stunned to see that they were two halves of the same photo. “That’s my mom!” Tommy gasped. “That’s my dad!” Tony gasped. “So, if your mom is my mom and my dad is your dad and we’re both born on June twenty-fifth, then you and I are like brothers!” Tony cried in shocked realization. “Brothers? Tony, we’re twins!” Tommy cried. The two newfound twins embraced, happy to have found each other.

 

 

That night Tommy and Tony were asleep when Tommy suddenly woke his brother up. “I just had the best idea. Seriously, I am a total genius. You want to know what mom is like, right?” Tommy asked. “Yeah,” Tony replied. “and I want to know dad. So, I had a brilliant idea. I think we should switch places!” Tommy finished. “What?!” Tony exclaimed. “I’ll go back to New York as you and you’ll go back to London as me. Eventually, our parents will have to unswitch us and when they do...” Tommy trailed off. “...they’ll have to meet again and we might have a chance of getting them back together. But, Tommy, we have a small problem. We don’t sound or act like each other, and I think Dad will notice if I come home with long hair,” Tony finished. “Can you cut my hair?” Tommy asked. “Yeah, I’ve seen the barber do it a bunch of times. I can do that,” Tony replied. “Then, don’t worry about it. I’ll teach you to be me and you teach me to be you. We’re twins, aren’t we? We can do this,” Tommy reassured him. Tony felt somewhat reassured, but he was still nervous. He was worried that in spite of everything, their parents would still tell them apart, plus, he knew that if Tommy slipped up any in front of Riff and the boys that they’d notice pretty quick. That last part was what worried him most, but he finally did get back to sleep.

 

The next morning, Tony and Tommy woke up early because they wanted to get Tommy’s hair cut before breakfast. They also wanted time to get Tony’s accent right and give Tommy time to practice dropping his. They knew they needed to keep people from telling them apart, so they’d be able to fool their parents. Tony got the scissors from a dresser drawer and Tommy went over to the chair in front of the mirror. Tony was so nervous that he shut his eyes as he started to cut Tommy’s hair. “Don’t shut your eyes!” Tommy exclaimed, making Tony’s eyes snap open. “Sorry. I’m just a little nervous,” Tony replied. “You’re nervous? A twelve year-old is cutting my hair!” Tommy replied. He said the last three words without his accent. “Hey! You sounded just like me!” Tony exclaimed, surprised. “Well, I’m supposed to, aren’t I? Now, come on. Just do it,” Tommy said nervously. Tony began snipping and little by little, Tommy’s hair got shorter. Finally, the time came to see the finished haircut and both twins went over to the mirror. They couldn’t believe it! They were two identical carbon copies of each other! “How does it look?” Tommy asked. “Dude, you never looked better,” Tony replied. They then practiced both answering to the same name, having the same accent at the same time, and acting just like each other. It would drive the whole camp crazy at breakfast and would give them practice at the same time. Tony taught Tommy everything about his life and Tommy taught Tony everything about his, making sure they remembered enough about each other to convince friends and relatives.

 

 

At breakfast, things were crazy. The whole camp saw them come in behind each other in line and couldn’t tell them apart. They were so used to looking at hair length and listening for accents that this took them by surprise. They finally gave up trying to tell the twins apart and just left. The twins laughed their heads off at this because it was so much fun. They were now assured that their parents wouldn’t be able to tell the difference and they had sufficient practice being each other. They still had four weeks left of camp and they intended to spend every moment possible together. They did all their activities together, ate together, and slept next to each other at night. They had already decided not to tell Tony’s friends about being twins or switching places because they were afraid that the Jets would accidentally slip up in some way that would reveal the switch to their parents. Tony felt bad about not telling them, but he couldn’t risk any of his enemies learning about their switcheroo, since Bernardo would hurt Tommy instead of him. He couldn’t let that happen. They knew that as long as Bernardo thought that Tommy was Tony, he wouldn’t dare harm him. So they kept quiet about it in all phone conversations with the boys so they wouldn’t suspect that they had the wrong twin when Tommy took his place. The days flew by quickly and before the boys knew it, the time came to go home. They packed their things and prepared to go back home as each other.

 

 

The next day, all the campers were exchanging addresses and telephone numbers with friends they’d met that summer. No one noticed the pair of twins hugging each other tightly as if they’d never see each other again. Tony was all dressed in Tommy’s travel clothes and Tommy was dressed in Tony’s jeans and sneakers. They knew it’d be awhile before they saw each other again and they had to go over everything they were supposed to do. Tony was supposed to find out how their mother met their father and Tommy was supposed to find out everything he could about what attracted his father to his mother. “Tommy Martin!” called Mr. Jones Sr. “That’s you. Here’s your ticket and passport. Smethells will meet you at the airport at 7 tomorrow morning,” Tommy told him. “I’ll miss you so much. I hope we’ll see each other soon.” Tony said, almost in tears. “Tommy Martin! Last call!” Mr. Jones called again. Tony finally left and got into the car. Tommy didn’t leave for a couple of more hours. Tony then boarded a flight for England with Tommy’s passport, and since he looked like his twin, it was easy to pass for Tommy. Meanwhile, Tommy got on a plane for New York with Tony’s passport. They were both nervous about seeing the parents they never knew for the first time.

 

HEATHROW AIRPORT TO 7 PEMBROOKE LANE—LONDON, ENGLAND

Tony finally arrived at the airport in London, where Smethells was waiting for him. “Tommy!” Smethells called. “Smethells!” Tony called back, with a perfect British accent. He managed to convince the butler that he was Tommy, but the real test would be convincing his mother. They drove through the busy London streets, passing by Harrods—the world’s largest department store; Big Ben; Buckingham Palace, and many other locations that thoroughly fascinated Tony. He kept leaning out the window to look at it all as they headed home. Finally, they arrived at 7 Pembrooke Lane, the Martin residence. Tony was really nervous about seeing his mother and grandfather, but he screwed up his courage and entered the house. “Hello! Grandfather! Mum! Anyone home?” Tony called, his accent perfect. He finally found his grandfather in the study, reading the newspaper. The old man heard him come in and put down the paper. “Is that my grandson? That tall, gangly thing?” his grandfather asked. “Yes, it’s me,” Tony replied. Tony then began to smell his grandfather. When the grandfather asked what he was doing, Tony replied that he was making a memory, so that he’d remember what the old man smelled like years from now—cherries and pipe tobacco. That made his grandfather laugh. Just then, Tony heard a female voice calling “Tommy?” and realized it was his mother. He headed over toward the stairs and saw the woman from his picture, Jillian Martin, coming down them—his mother, at last! “Mum?” Tony asked hesitantly. “You’re back!” his mother cried and ran toward him. “Mum! Finally!” Tony whispered as he ran to his mother and hugged her. His mother was surprised to see his “haircut” and asked if there were any more surprises she should know about—bellybutton rings, tattoos, etc. Tony assured her there weren’t and went upstairs to unpack. He explored some of his mother’s things, trying to find out more about her, since he hadn’t known her for twelve years. He then thought of his father and wondered what he was doing at that moment.

 

WESTCHESTER COUNTY AIRPORT, WESTCHESTER, NEW YORK TO TONY’S HOME IN WESTCHESTER

Tommy got off the plane and immediately spotted Jack Wyzek waiting for him (or waiting for Tony, rather). “Oh, gosh. There he is,” Tommy said, unable to believe he was finally meeting his father after all these years. “Hey, Tony! Welcome home kiddo!” his father called. “Dad, finally,” Tommy said in Tony’s accent. He hugged his father tightly, then asked about Chrissy and everybody. His dad told him they were just fine, but anxious to see him. So, they headed back to the truck, where Tony’s friends were waiting. Tommy had a little trouble with the names at first, but when the Jets wondered what was going on, he dismissed it as being at camp so long. He didn’t want to reveal that it was because he’d never seen them before in his life.

 

Eventually, they got to the Wyzek’s house in Westchester. Tony’s dog, Sarah, was barking from the porch and Chrissy, the Wyzek’s housekeeper, ran out to meet them. She hugged Tommy, not realizing she had the wrong twin, and they went into the house to unpack and eat. That was where Tommy saw a strange woman kissing his father through the window! He quickly grabbed a nearby camera and took a picture of the two, while getting Chrissy to explain who the woman was. It turned out her name was Laura Owens and she was a publicist from Manhattan who was hired to do some publicity for a new hotel that his father was helping to build. But, it seemed she was “doing a better job of selling herself than the hotel”, according to Chrissy. Eventually, Tommy met Laura in person, and made a perfect nuisance of himself by asking things like how much of an age difference was between the two. Laura kept trying to be nice, but Tommy took an instant dislike to her because she was mucking up his and Tony’s plan. Eventually, he called his twin and told him what had happened. At first, Tony didn’t believe him, but was utterly grossed out when he heard about her kissing his dad’s neck. He didn’t want to come out there just yet, so Tommy agreed to sabotage them as best he could, but explained he was kind of at a disadvantage.

 

In London, Tony crawled out from the closet he’d been talking to his twin in and found his mother, Smethells, and his grandfather staring at him. He quickly explained that he’d been talking to an old friend from camp named ‘David’ (the name he and Tommy had agreed on) and that talking to your friend from inside a closet was an old camp tradition. His mother looked at him strangely, but didn’t say anything. He hung out with his mother for the next several weeks, asking questions about his dad, while Tommy did the same thing in New York with his father. They found out their parents had met on a ship and had been seated next to each other at dinner.

 

Things got worse, however, when Jack took Tommy riding and they started talking about Laura. Tommy ran back to the house and burst into a rant. Just then, he heard a voice say, “Is there something you’d like to share with the rest of the class, Tony?” the speaker was soon revealed to be Chrissy. “Chrissy, you gave me a fright,” Tommy said, scared. “I gave you a fright?” Chrissy asked in bewilderment. “I mean, you scared me,” Tommy quickly corrected himself. “You mind explaining to me why your appetite’s changed, why Sarah won’t come near you anymore, why you’re suddenly neat as a pin and using expressions like, you gave me a fright?” Chrissy asked. “I just changed a lot over the summer,” Tommy explained. “Okay, but if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear it’s almost as if you were--” Chrissy trailed off. “Almost as if I were who, Chrissy?” Tommy asked. “Nothing. Forget I said anything,” Chrissy said. “Almost as if I were…Tommy?” Tommy asked. “You know about Tommy?” Chrissy asked. “I am Tommy,” Tommy replied in his normal voice. At that, Chrissy started looking like she was going to cry.

 

When Jack came in and wondered what was going on, Chrissy was choking back sobs as she knew she was laying eyes on Tommy for the first time since he was a baby. Then Jack tried to finish the conversation he and Tommy had started earlier. It went badly when he mentioned about marrying Laura and Tommy went into a shouting fit, at one point saying several choice things in French! He made up the excuse that he’d learned it at camp, which fortunately, his father believed. He ran up to his room and knew he had to tell Tony the news. There wasn’t much time. So he sent a fax through to their house in London with a picture of Sarah barking “911” on it. Somehow, Smethells knew to show it to Tony and did so at dinner. Tony fell out of his chair trying to read it, making everyone stare at him. “Are you all right?” his mother asked. “Just had one sip too many, I guess. You know, Mother, I feel like I could use a bit of fresh air. Would it be okay if I stepped outside for a moment? Would you mind if I stepped out for a moment?” Tony asked. “Of course. Are you okay? Would you like me to come with you?” his mother asked. “No, no. I’ll be fine...Just got a touch woozy, that’s all,” Tony replied. He didn’t know it, but his grandfather had decided to follow him to see what he was up to.

Tony left and ran down the street to a phone booth, where he dialed the operator. “Yes, I’d like to make a collect-call to California, please. Area code 707 ...” Tony said. Tommy picked up mid-ring. “Hello? Yes, I’ll accept the charges. Tony, thank goodness you got my fax. I’m absolutely desperate,” Tommy said. “What’s up? Why the 911?” Tony asked. “Dad’s getting married,” Tommy told him. “Whaddya mean, getting married?” Tony asked, laughing. “I mean black tie, white gown, the whole enchilada,” Tommy said. “What?” Tony asked incredulously. “The wedding’s in two weeks so, if there’s any hope of getting Mom and Dad back together, we’ve got to do it fast,” Tommy said. “Okay, Mom and I are going to the theatre tonight so I’ll drop the bomb on her first thing in the morning,” Tony said. “Give Mom a kiss for me, willya? And Grandfather, too. And Tony, hurry,” Tommy said. Tony and Tommy hung up and Tony stepped out of the phone booth, running into the man standing outside, who turned around. Tony was shocked to see that it was his grandfather. He had heard the whole thing, so they took a stroll around the park while Tony told him the whole story. They then went back home and Tony prepared to tell his mother the truth.

 

He found his mother sketching a wedding gown on a piece of paper as she talked to someone in French on the phone. He waited till she hung up and then went into the room. “Hi, sweetie. Come on in. I have to finish this sketch and Fed Ex it to Paris, then how about you and I go out to lunch and spend the rest of the day getting lost in Harrods?” Jillian offered. “Actually mother, I have to go out of town today,” Tony replied. “You have to go out of town? And where, may I ask, are you going?” Jillian asked. In response, Tony pulled the covers over his head. “Tommy?” his mother queried, shaking the bed slightly. From under the covers, Tony said, “That’s where I have to go. I have to go see Tommy.” “I see. And where would Tommy be?” Jillian asked. “in New York with his father, Jack Wyzek,” Tony replied. Finally, it hit Jillian what was going on. She pulled back the covers and looked at the boy beneath them. “You’re not Tommy?” Jillian said, astonished. “That would be correct,” Tony replied. “You’re Tony...” his mother gasped. “I am. Tommy and I met at camp and we decided to switch places. I’m sorry, but I’d never seen you and I’d dreamt of meeting you my whole life and Tommy felt the exact same way about Dad, so we just sorta switched lives. I hope you-re not mad because I love you so much and I just hope one day you can love me as me and not as Tommy,” Tony said. “Oh, honey, I’ve loved you your whole life. Why didn’t you tell me it was you all along?” his mother asked. “I was scared,” Tony replied, crying. They even turned and saw Smethells crying. “I guess you have to switch us back now, huh?” Tony asked. “Legally, you belong to your father and Tommy belongs to me,” Jillian replied. “‘His’ and ‘Hers’, kids. No offense, Mom, but this arrangement really sucks,” I agree, it totally sucks. I don’t want to lose you now that we’ve been together,” his mom replied. “Well, then I guess we’ll just have to fly to Napa, see Tommy and Dad and work this whole thing out,” Tony said. “And I say you’re right. Don’t worry darling. I’ll take care of everything,” Jillian promised.

 

The next day, Tony came in after packing and found his mother’s room a mess and her suitcase totally empty. He told his mother that his father knew they were coming when she asked if he’d spoken to him, and said he was really looking forward to seeing her. This, of course, was a lie, since he and Tommy hadn’t told their father anything. They were to meet at the Plaza Hotel in New York at noon the next day. Things quickly got out of control, though, with both twins running around the Plaza. Jillian soon found out that Jack was unaware she was coming and grilled both twins about it. They ended up revealing everything and she made it clear that she wasn’t about to get back together with Jack. Jack saw Jillian and went around the hotel looking for her as soon as he got the chance. Unfortunately, he ran into someone and got knocked full force into the hotel pool. He got out and Jillian was there to help him. The two boys were also there, although Jack was unaware of the switch, as were Riff and the other boys, who had followed them there.

 

Their parents began to talk and Jack asked why Jillian was there. “Dad, I can explain why she’s here,” Tommy said, coming up behind them. “Tony, you know who this is?” his dad asked. “Actually, yes. And actually I’m not Tony,” Tommy said, finally using his accent again. “Actually, I am,” Tony said, appearing on his mother’s other side. “Both of them? Tommy...Tony...” Jack asked, surprised. “I guess you and Mom sort of think alike, cause you both sent us to the same camp. We met and the whole thing kind of just spilled out,” Tommy said. “They switched places on us, Jack,” Jillian explained. “Wait a minute. You mean I’ve had Tommy all this time?” their father asked. “I wanted to know what you were like and Tony wanted to know Mom. Are you angry?” Tommy asked. “Honey, of course not. It’s just...I can’t believe it’s you. The last time I saw you...you had diaper rash. Look at you...” his father exclaimed. “Well, I’m quite grown up now and quite without a father,” Tommy said. “And I’m headed into my crazy mixed-UP teenage years and I’ll be the only guy I know without a mother to fight with,” Tony said. “Tony, you’ve been in London all this time?” his father asked incredulously. Tony nodded and ran to hug his father, saying “Mom’s amazing, Dad...I don’t know how you ever let her go.” “Girls, why don’t you let your father and I talk for a couple of minutes, okay?” Jillian said. “Sure,” Tommy said. “Fine, take your time,” Tony said.

 

“Oh, man, I can’t believe this. Seeing them together...and you...and... How are you, Lizzie or does everyone call you Jillian now?” Jack asked. “No, no, Lizzie’s fine. My Dad still calls me Lizzie. I’ve been terrific. How ‘bout you?” Jillian asked. “Well, I’ve had better days,” Jack replied. He then cried out “Ouch!” as he touched his injured cheek. “Let me help you with that? Excuse me, do you have a First-Aid kit?” Jillian asked and a towel person went to get one. “How is your Dad, still sneaking those stogies?” Jack asked her. “Every day,” Jillian replied. “I can’t believe it, you haven’t changed at all...” Jack said. “You thought maybe I’d be fat and grey?” asked Jillian. “Well, not grey... Ouch!” Jack cried. “Finally! There you are!” Laura said, coming up behind them. “Oh. You’ve met Jillian. Good. Honey, Jillian’s going to make my...wedding gown...But, I don’t understand...How did you two meet and why are you so wet?” she asked. “I wasn’t paying attention and I...” Jack stopped and turned to Jillian. “You’re making My fiancé’s wedding gown?” “I didn’t know she was your fiancé...” Jillian said. “How did we meet? How did you two meet?” Jack asked. “Am I missing something here?” Laura asked. “Sweetheart, you know what? This is one small world...” Jack replied. “How small?” Laura asked. Just then Tommy came up to her and said, “Hey Laura.” “Hello,” she replied. “How you doing?” Tony asked coming up on her other side. Laura shrieked in shock and they had to end up explaining that Tony was a twin.

 

Tony and Tommy, in the meantime, had their own set of problems. They had run into Tony’s friends after leaving their parents. Tony was in complete shock at seeing them there. Riff and the others had been in complete shock when “Tony” had spoken with a British accent mid-sentence after his dad had asked him about knowing who the woman was that had helped him out of the pool. The biggest shock, however, had come when the real Tony had stepped out from behind his mother. There were TWO of them! TWINS! Riff knew that Tony had mentioned that he was mad at Tommy at first, then that they were practically like brothers, but he’d never once mentioned they were twins. So he was mad that Tony hadn’t told him he was a twin and Tony explained what was going on. Finally, Riff got over being mad and the twins took them up to their rooms.

 

That night, the twins arranged a dinner date for their parents aboard a boat. Tony and jack both came out first and went to the curb, where a limo was waiting. Jack said, “Tony, I’ve had enough surprises for one day...just tell me where we’re going...” Tony said, “You’re gonna love it, Dad, trust me.” Just then, Jillian and Tommy step out of the hotel. Jillian was wearing the red dress Smethells recommended. Jack tried not to admire her too openly. Jack said, “Hey...Hi.” Jillian said, “Hi. So do you know where they’re taking us?” Jack said, “Not a clue.” as they crossed to the Limo, Tommy handed them eye shades and said, “Okay, now put these on. You can take them off when we reach our destination.” Jack asked, “We’re going in a limo?” Tony asked, “You want one of us to drive?” and at a look from his father, said, “Please, indulge us.”

Later on a dark street at night, a foghorn sounded, as the Limo pulled to a stop. The Boys hurry out. Tommy said, “Okay, you can take them off.” Jack and Jillian exited the limo, taking off their blindfolds. Their eyes widened as they looked ahead and saw an exquisite 150 foot yacht all lit up and bobbing gently in the sparkling Bay. Tony said, “She’s ours for the night.” Jack asked, “And exactly how are we paying for her?” Tommy said, “Tony and I pooled our allowances.” Jack and Jillian look at him doubtfully. Tommy said, “Okay, Grandfather pitched in a bit.” (they continue looking at him) “Okay, he pitched in a lot.” Jack and Jillian exchange a quizzical look, as they follow -the Boys down the steps to the DECK, where a Uniformed Captain welcomed them aboard. Tony said, “Okay folks, right this way...” Tony and Tommy open a pair of DOUBLE DOORS: Tony said, “Ta da! And in front of them, they see a romantic dining room where a candle-lit table is set for two. The windows reveal the San Francisco Bay, lit by the yacht’s twinkling lights. Jack said, “The table’s only set for two.” Tommy said, “That’s the other part of the surprise we’re not joining you.” Jillian asked, “You’re not?” The Boys smiled and shake their heads as Chrissy entered, dressed as a Ship’s Steward, in tropical white. Chrissy said, “No, but I am. Good evening, I’m Chrissy, I’ll be your server tonight. No wisecracks please. At that moment, out stepped Smethells, also dressed in ship’s whites and carrying a bottle of champagne. Smethells said, “And I’m Smethells, your Sommelier. May I offer you both a taste of the bubbly in hopes that you’ll get a little snickered and won’t can this lovely lady and myself for following the orders of two twelve year-olds...” Chrissy said, “Tommy, mood music, if you please.” Tommy pushed a few buttons and the lights dim. Moonlight spills into the room as we hear “Sade’s Smooth Oper-ator play over the cabin’s speakers. Tommy said, (like a hypnotist) “Relax...Sail through time...” Tony“—Back to yesteryear...” The Boys disappear behind double doors, leaving Jack and Jillian looking thoroughly confused. Chrissy approached with a tray of hors d’oeuvres. Chrissy asked, “You don’t get it, do you? Smooth Oper-ator...’Big hit in 1986 ...The year you two met...Hors d’oeuvre?” Jillian said, “So, that’s what this is all about. Jack noticed a life raft with a homemade sign that says QE 2 hanging on the wall. Jack said, “They’re recreating the night we met ...The boat...the music ... Chrissy  pointed to herself and said, “The help.” Jillian (a little misty-eyed) said, “It’s incredibly sweet.” Jack said, “Smethells, I think I’ll have that drink.” Smethells poured them both champagne, then he and Chrissy slipped away. Jack said, “To tell you the truth, I haven’t been on a boat since the -QE 2.” Jillian said, “Neither have I.” A soft wind blows Jillian’s hair. Jack (taken with her, lifted his glass) said, “Well then, here’s to... Jillian (finishing his sentence, lifted her glass) said, “Our sons.” Jack (not exactly what he was thinking, but okay) said, “To our sons.” THROUGH A PORTHOLE Tony and Tommy sneaked a peek, thrilled to see their Parents toasting. BACK TO SCENE Jack said, “You know, I always see you in Tony. I always have. Something about his eyes ... Jillian said, “That’s funny. I always see you in Tommy. Something about his smile.” An awkward moment, they each sip their champagne. As they glanced over at the porthole, the Boys dropped out of sight. Jack said, “Now I know how a goldfish feels.” (re: Boys) “They turned out pretty good though, huh?” Jillian said, “We’ve been lucky.” Jack said, “Sometime, if we’re ever really alone maybe we could talk about...what happened between us. It all feels a bit hazy to me now...It ended so fast.” Jillian said, “It started so fast.” Jack said, “Now that part I remember perfectly.”

THROUGH ANOTHER PORTHOLE

Chrissy and Smethells watch. Smethells said, “Looks like things are heating up nicely. I’d say it’s safe to serve the vichyssoise.” Chrissy said, “You ladle, I’ll serve.” They start back toward the galley. It’s tight, they try to pass one another and get momentarily stuck, their eyes lock, then they squeeze past each other. Smethells (pulling himself together) said, “Yes, I’ll ladle.” Chrissy said, “Right. And I’ll...” Smethells said, “-serve.” Chrissy said, “Right.”

Jillian said, “So, you’ve done incredibly well. Your dream of being a contractor...it actually came true.” Jack said, “Hey, how about you, always drawing on napkins and corners of newspapers? Now you’re this major designer...pretty impressive.” Jillian said, “Yeah, it’s amazing. We both actually got where we wanted to go...” Jack said, “Yep. We did.” Chrissie then entered, carrying two bowls of soup and places them in front of Jillian and Jack. Jack said, “So, what do we do about the boys?” Jillian said, “Well, I guess now that they’ve met, we can’t very well keep them apart. I could keep them half the year and you could—” Chrissie cut them off with, “Guys, they can’t go to two schools every year.” Jack said, “I agree.” Jillian said, “Okay, I could keep them for a whole year, then you could—” Jack said, “Jill, this is why we...” He then looked at Chrissie. Chrissie said, “Sorry. Ignore me. I’m gone.” She backed out of the room. Jack said, “This is why we came up with the solution we have.” Jillian said, “Really? I thought it was because we decided never to see each other again.” Jack said, “Not Jill...” Jillian said, “You know that part’s become a bit hazy for me too over the years.” Jack said, “You don’t remember the day you packed?” Jillian said, “No, that day I remember perfectly. Did I hurt you when I threw that suitcase? I’ve often wondered.” Jack said, (rubbing his shoulder) “Let’s put it this way, I’ll never pitch for the Yankees.” (Started his soup, stopped) “So how come you never got married again? I always figured by now you’d be re-married with a new family...” Jillian said, “Me? No...no, no...no...” Jack said, “That’s a lot of Inols’.” Jillian said, “That’s because I realized a long time ago marriage wasn’t for me...” There was a beat of silence. Jack started to eat again, then stopped. Jack asked, “You know I may be alone with you again, so...About the day you packed...Why’d you do it?” Jillian said, “Jack, we were getting along so badly, we found out we each had tempers, we said foolish things...So I packed...Got on my first 747 and...you didn’t come after me.” After a long, dead silence, Jack said, “I didn’t know I was supposed to.” Jillian said, “Well, it really doesn’t matter now...Let’s put on a good face for the kids, shall we and get this show on the road...” She then looked at her watch. “Gosh, I’m still on London time, so...” Jack finally resigned himself to the inevitable. “Okay. Yeah. You’re right. Let’s get the show on the road.” Jillian started her soup. Jack joined her, not a word passing between them. Through a porthole, Tommy and Tony watched, crestfallen.

 

Outside the Plaza Hotel at the same time the next morning at the front desk in the hotel lobby, Jillian signs her bill and turns to Smethells, who tips the Bell Hop. Jillian said, “All set then. Where’s Tommy?” Smethells said, “I just called, he’s on his way down. Jack and Chrissie joined them. Everyone’s spirits were low. Jack said, “Okay, so I’ll uh...send Tony back to you over Christmas. Jillian said, “And I’ll see that Tommy spends Easter with you. The elevator opened and Tony and Tommy stepped off, dressed identically in T-shirts and overalls. It was impossible to tell them apart. Jillian asked, “Boys, what are you doing in those clothes? We’ve got a plane to catch.” One of the boys answered, “Here’s the deal mom. We talked it over and we decided we were getting totally gypped.” The other twin said, “Dad promised we’d go on a camping trip, and we want to go—together.” Jack asked, “What camping trip?” His twin replied, “The one we go on every summer before school starts. Come on, dad. Please.” Jillian said, “Tommy, this is ridiculous. Go upstairs and change this instant!” The boy she’d spoken to asked, “Are you sure I’m Tommy?” Jillian said, “Well, of course I’m sure. Aren’t you?” He asked, “But it’s kind of hard to be one hundred percent positive…” “...isn’t it?” his twin finished. Jack looked from one twin to the other, then, to Tommy, and said, “This one’s Tony, I’m positive.” Tony grinned at him and said, “Gee, I hope you’re right, Dad. You wouldn’t want to send the wrong kid all the way back to England.” Tommy asked, “Would you?” Jack looks to Jillian, he can’t be sure. Jack said, “Boys, this is totally unfunny. You’re going to make your mother miss her plane.” Tommy said, “Here’s our proposition. We go back to Dad’s house, pack our stuff and the four of us leave on the camping trip.” Jillian asked, “The four of us!?” Tommy said, “And when you bring us back, we’ll tell you who’s Tony and who’s Tommy.” Jillian said, “Or...You do as we say and I take one of you back with me to London whether you like or not.”

 

Later that afternoon, as Jillian’s missed 747 soared into the clear blue sky, the twins and their father were throwing their sleeping bags into the trunk of Jack’s car outside the Wyzek home in Westchester. Jack threw in the final bag as Laura watched, wearing a tight suit and sunglasses. Laura asked, “What am I supposed to do for three days, sit home and knit? Jillian exited the house looking very Out of Africa, carrying a backpack. Laura asked, “Excuse me, what is she doing here? Jack said, “That was the deal - the four of us go together. Laura said, “What are you suddenly, the Brady Bunch? This is ridic—.” Jillian said, “Hi, Laura.” Then she saw the way Laura was looking at her. “Everything okay?” Laura said, “Well, no, as a matter of fact, it isn’t. I didn’t realize you were going on this little outing and to tell you the truth, I’m not so sure I am okay with it. Jillian said, “I agree. The ex-wife in the next sleeping bag is a little weird...Laura said, “Thank you. Jillian said, “I insist you come with us, really. Laura stopped cold. Jack said, “Jill ...Jillian said, ““Jack, I messed-up up your entire weekend, it’s the least I can do to pay you back. A few minutes later, Tommy and Tony exited with Chrissie. As the kids climbed into the car, they noticed Jillian and Laura come out of the house. Laura was now dressed in tight black work-out gear. Tony asked, “Dad, what’s Laura doing here? Jack got behind the wheel and said, “Your mother invited her. Be nice.” The boys look at each other, then to Chrissie, as Laura smiles and climbs into the front seat. Jillian closed the door and said, “Okay. Have fun everybody.” Jack said, “Jill, what are you doing?” Jillian said, “I really think you and Laura need time alone before the big day.” Tommy said, “Mom! Come on, that’s not the plan.” Jillian said, “Honestly, you’ll have much more fun without me.” Laura, who was having second thoughts, said, “Look, if you’re not going...I don’t have to go...Trust me, I’m not exactly a big nature girl.” Jillian said, “But this’ll be your chance to really get to know the boys...Starting next week, they’re half yours.” Jack caught Jillian’s eye and she blew him a kiss. Jillian said, “Have fun!” As the car pulls off, Chrissie turned to Jillian. Chrissie said, “I would pay to see that woman climb a mountain.”

 

Tony and Tommy were climbing a steep hill, wearing back-packs and baseball caps. They were followed by Laura, puffing and perspiring, dabbing sunscreen on her nose as she tried to keep her balance. Jack brought up the rear. Laura plopped down on a rock, trying to catch her breath. Laura said, “I’m gonna kill my trainer...He says I’m in such great shape...” She rubbed her legs. “I can’t believe people actually do this for fun.” Jack called, “Boys, hold on, we’re stopping.” Tony complained as he came back towards them, “Again? Dad, at this rate, It’ll take three days just to get up the mountain.” Jack said, “Laura isn’t used to the altitude...Just chill, okay?” Behind Jack and Laura, Tommy was slipping large rocks into Laura’s Prada backpack. Laura said, “Somebody hand me my Evian...I can’t move.” Tommy spotted a small lizard, grabbed it and placed it on top of Laura’s water bottle. Tommy said, “Here you go, Laura.” Laura took the bottle, lifted it to her mouth and found herself eye-to-eye with the lizard. She screamed, tossing the Evian bottle in the air, losing her balance and SLIPPING off the rock. Jack asked, “Honey, you okay? Tommy caught the Lizard and said, “This little guy was on her Evian bottle, I guess.” He held the lizard upside down by it’s tail. Jack said, “He won’t hurt you, Laura.” Laura screamed again and said, “Get it away from me! I hate things that . crawl. It’s disgusting...It’s a lizard, it should be a belt. Ugh, how can you touch it? Put it down!” Tommy said, “Okay.” Tommy walked behind Laura and gently deposited the Lizard right on top of Laura’s head. Jack said, “Why don’t I take the lead, you two help Laura.” Jack moved off. Laura rose, still not knowing the lizard sat on top of her head. Laura said to the twins, “Sure, you’re going to help me...right over a cliff, you’ll help me.” Tony said softly to Tommy, “Not a bad idea. See any cliffs?” Laura groaned as she now lifted her much heavier backpack. Tommy asked, “Need a hand? Laura pulled away and replied, “Not from you, thank you. Don’t think I can’t see right past those angelic faces. One more trick from you two and I promise I’ll make your lives miserable from the day I say I do’. Got it?” Tony replied, “Got it, Cruella.” Laura turned and asked, “What’d you call me?” Tony replied, “Nothing. Not a thing... He then whispered, “Cruella.” (Then he turned back) “Oh, Laura...I think there’s something on your head...”The Boys-walked ahead. Laura reaches up and feels her hair...then her hand lands on the lizard. She screamed a blood-curdling scream and the lizard panics and runs down her face and right into her mouth. Laura’s eyes bulged and she spat the lizard out, gagging and coughing. Jack and the boys ran back. Jack asked, “Are you okay?!? What happened?! Bright RED and in SHOCK, Laura stomped her feet and pointed to Tommy and Tony. Tommy asked, “What did we do, Dad? We were with you.” A little later, Laura walked by herself, banging the buttons on her cell phone. Laura pleaded, “Please work...Hello? Hello?” Laura stopped when she saw Tommy and Tony bent over examining something on the ground. Laura sneaks up behind them and overheard Tommy say, “I didn’t know they had mountain lions up here.” Tony said, “Oh yeah, the place is crawling with them.” He winked at Tommy. “An old Indian guide once showed me how to keep them away.” He picked up two sticks and hit them together. Just do this and they’ll never come near you.” The Boys picked up sticks and moved off down the trail, clacking them together. Laura stooped, picked up two sticks, CLACKS them together and followed. Around a crackling camp fire that night, Jack, the boys and Laura sit around the campfire. Everyone eats trout, except Laura, who sits on a rock, wrapped in a blanket, swatting at mosquitoes and rubbing lotion on her arm. Tommy asked, “You sure you don’t want some trout, Mom? Is that okay, by the way? If we start calling you Mom?” Laura replied, “I think your mother would prefer if you called me Laura and no thank you, I do not eat trout...for the thousandth time. I’ll wait until breakfast. What are we having?” Jack and the boys replied, “Trout.” Jack replied, “We always live off the trail up here, it’s part of the experience.” Laura asked, “(swatting away) “What’s the other part, being eaten to death by mosquitoes?” She swatted several away as she spoke, then looked at her lotion. “You’d think they actually liked this stuff.” Jack asked, “What is that you’re using? (He looked at the bottle and put some on his hand. “You’re going to attract every mosquito on the mountain. This is sugar and water...Where’d you get this stuff?” Laura looked to the Boys, who busied themselves eating. Laura replied, “That’s it. I’m taking a large sleeping pill and going to bed.” She picked up her two sticks and whacked them together as she moved off toward her tent. Jack asked, “Sweetheart, what are you doing? Laura started, “I don’t want the mountain lions to...” She then realized she’d been had. “There are no mountain lions up here, are there?”

Jack shook his head. Laura glared at the Boys, dropped her sticks in the fire, walked to Jack and gave him a luscious kiss goodnight, smiled at the Boys and marched off to her tent. Jack: I’m telling you guys, lay off. This isn’t her thing, okay? I’m not marrying her because she’s Annie Oakley.” Tommy asked, “Who’s Annie Oakley? Jack said, “ Just cool it.” At midnight that night, the boys sneaked out of their tent and tiptoed over to Laura’s tent. Once inside, The Boys saw Laura fast asleep on her air mattress. They positioned themselves at Laura’s head and feet and on the “count of three”, lifted her up on her mattress. It wasn’t easy. As they carried her out, Laura moved her arm, brushing her hand across Tony’s nose. Tony twitched his nose but kept going. The Boys stepped out of the tent carrying Laura on her mattress. The went down a path to the lake front, where they quietly dragged the air mattress into the lake, nod to each other and push her off.

Tony watched Laura drift away and said, “Sweet dreams, Mommy Dearest.” The next morning, Laura was sound asleep on her back in the middle of the lake, with a bird resting on-her nose. She flopped an arm into the water. In her sleep, Laura said, “That feels so nice...” She gently moved her fingers in the water, then her eyes sprang open. She looked straight up as the bird flapped its wings and flew across her face. Laura screamed sat up, realized she was in the middle of the lake. She screamed again, her voice echoing off the mountains. Laura screamed, “ Jaaaaaack!!!!!!” Jack stuck his head out of his tent, half-asleep, spotted Laura thrashing around, screaming, in the middle of the lake. Jack asked, “What’s she doing in the lake? Tony and Tommy peeked out of their tent and saw Laura splashing back to the shore in her soaking wet pajamas. She storms past the campfire, kicks the coffee pot into the air and marches up to Jack. Jack asked, “ What’s going on?” Laura replied, “Here’s what’s going on, buddy: the day we say “I do” is the day I ship those brats off to Switzerland. Get the picture? It’s me or them. Take your pick.” Jack replied, “Them.” Laura asked, “Excuse me? Jack said, “T-H-E-M. Get the picture?”

 

Outside Jack’s house - at sunset, Jillian sat on a rocker on the front porch, reading when she heard Jack and the boys pull up. She rose to greet them. Jillian asked, “Back so soon? Did you have fun? Tommy replied, “Not exactly.” Tony replied, “We’ve been punished through the end of the century.” Jack said, “Starting now. Go.” Jillian asked, “Where’s Laura?” Tony replied, “We played a couple of harmless tricks on her and she kinda freaked out a little.” Jack replied incredulously, “A little?” He showed Jillian the ring and said, “We broke up.” Jillian said, “Oh, jeez ...This is all my fault. If I hadn’t suggested she go...” Jack said, “Tricked her would be more like it. Like mother, like sons...”Jillian said, “I’m really sorry, Jack.” Tommy said, “We are too, Dad...really.” Tony asked, “Will you forgive us?” Jack commanded, “Up to your room!” When they were gone, he smiled. “I gotta remember to thank them one day.” Jillian was surprised, and asked, “You’re relieved?” Jack replied, “I think I am.” He didn’t wait to talk about it. “I’m also starving...Chrissie around?” Jillian replied, “She and Smethells went off on a picnic around noon...yesterday.” Jack looked up on that one. “Hopefully they’ll be back...soonish...” Jack laughed and said, “Who would’ve thought my nanny and your butler...” Then he said, “So, listen, how ‘bout I whip us up something to eat?” Jillian asked incredulously, “You know how to cook now?” Jack replied, “Of course, I know how to cook. I can make pasta...and pasta...and...” Jillian replied, “Pasta sounds good.” In the upstairs hallway, a few minutes later, Jack, Now clean shaven and wearing fresh clothes, passed the boys’ room. Inside, Tony and Tommy were in pajamas, getting into bed. Tony said, “Wow! You look so nice, where are you going?” Jack shut the door and said, “Good night, boys!”

 

Jack then entered the. Kitchen where Jillian was setting the table. Jack said, “Smells good in here.” Jillian laughed and said, “Really? I’m just boiling water.” Jack said, “Oh. Then it must be you... He took out wine glasses for them, then asked, “So what are you in the mood for, red or white?” Jillian replied, “I think red.” Jack said, “Follow me...” and led her into the stone stairwell leading to his private wine cellar, a cavernous space lit by beautiful lanterns. The walls were lined with bottles of wine...ladders leaned against the walls, library style. Jack said, “This is where I keep my private stash. Did you know I also collect wine? Jillian laughed and said, “Oh really? Jack replied, “Yeah, I’m a man of limited interests.” Jillian laughed and Jack led her into a small cozy room, where he pulled a bottle from a rack. Jack said, “Here’s a 1921 Burgundy...They say the rain that year made this the best Burgundy ever harvested...Oh wait, you’ll appreciate this one...” He showed her another bottle and Jillian read the label. “V Day, 1946”...incredible.”

Jack said, “Yeah, I love that...” and showed her another one. “The same wine my parents served at their wedding...a 152 Bordeaux. I think my sister was conceived off this baby.” Jack said proudly. Jillian asked, “What’s this-one?” She read the label. “Where Dreams Have no End...1983.” Jack replied, “That one actually took me years to track down.” Jillian asked, “Why, where’s it from? Jack replied, “It’s the wine we drank at our wedding. I now have every bottle ever made.” Jillian asked, “You do?” She was completely thrown for a loop at that statement. Jack replied, “I do.” Jillian asked, “Can we open one? Jack replied, “You’re the only one I’d drink it with.” Jack pulled a bottle from the shelf, and dusted it off. He looked at Jillian and saw her eyes are teary. Jack asked, “You okay?” Jillian replied, “Just got a little dust in my eye...” Jack said, “I can offer you a clean sleeve to...” Jillian said, “No, no, I’m fine, now. Really. All better.” She said it very quickly, though, as if she was reluctant to accept Jack’s offer. Jack said, “You don’t always have to be so brave, you know.” Jillian said, “Oh, but I do, actually...”

 

Just then, they heard the cellar door opening above them and footsteps. Chrissie called from outside, “Anybody home?” Jack hesitated, looked to Jillian, who shrugged. Jack called, “Yeah...We’re on our way up...” Jack and Jillian climbed the stairs and entered the kitchen where they were greeted by Smethells and Chrissie. Smethells wore shades and a Laker baseball cap. Jillian said, “Welcome back...How was the picnic?” Chrissie replied, “Who knew the man wanted to eat in L.A.? We drove eight hours to have a picnic in a city with no parks.” Smethells replied, “But what a town! I saw mountains, beaches, I saw Michael Keaton, not to mention I found out I have the same hand size as John Wayne and the same shoe size as John Barrymore.” Chrissie said, “The man is a lot to handle...but a lot of fun. How was the camping trip? Aren’t you back early? Are we interrupting anything? We are. Let’s go.” Jillian replied, “No, no, you’re not interrupting anything. Are you hungry? In the mood for some pasta?” Jack looked at Jillian, wishing she hadn’t invited them to stay. Chrissie asked, “You don’t mind? We haven’t eaten since Heardt Castle.” Jack replied, “No, no, it’s fine.” Jillian said, “I’ll set the table for two more...” As Chrissie and Smethells came in joined them, Jack slipped the bottle of-wine into a cabinet and closed the door.

 

A row of suitcases lined up in front of Jack’s house. Jillian came down the front steps and joined Tommy and Smethells, who were dressed and ready to go. Jillian said, “Okay, then, I guess that’s that. We’re really off this time.” Jack, Tony, Chrissie and Sarah were sadly watching as a cab driver loaded the baggage into the trunk. The boys hugged and promised to see each other over Thanksgiving. Chrissie and Smethells hugged and promised to see each other over Christmas... Then Jack and Jillian hugged in a distant way and let go very quickly. Jack said, “Take care of yourself.” Jillian said, “You too.” The trunk was closed and Jillian hugged Tony hard...Jack hugged Tommy. Jillian, Tommy and Smethells waved, then ducked into the cab. As the taxi pulled off, Chrissie, Tony and Sarah all looked up to Jack. He turned away... In London, the following day, a taxi entered, rounded a corner and pulled up in front of Jillian’s town house. Jillian and Tommy, got out and entered, dropping their bags by the front door. Jillian said, “Hi ...We’re home!” They didn’t hear anything. Tommy called out: “Grandfather?” Jillian said, “I’ll check his study.”

 

Jillian entered the study, and sure enough, there he was, sitting behind the desk, hidden behind The Financial Times. Jillian said, “Hey stranger...” The paper came down and Jillian saw it was Tony sitting behind the desk. Tony said, “Hi, Mom. Did you know the Concorde gets you here in half the time?” “Yeah, I’ve heard that...”, Jillian said, stunned. Tommy arrives in the door behind Jillian, shocked to see Tony. Tommy asked, “What are you doing here?” Tony said, “It took us around thirty seconds after you left to realize we didn’t want to lose you two again.” Jillian asked, “We?” Jack appeared from the doorway behind Tony and said, “We. I made the mistake of not coming after you once, Jill and I wasn’t going to do it again...no matter how brave you are.” Jillian looked across the study at Jack, her eyes once again filled up, and she smiled. Jillian said, “Thank you.” They stood frozen, their eyes locked on each other. Tommy said, “Pssst....” He signaled for Tony to join him in the hall. Outside the study, seconds later, Tony rushed up to Tommy. Tony said, “We did it! We did it! [They hugged. Tommy said, “It’s unbelievable.” Tony said, “OhmyGod, you guys are gonna love living in California....” Tommy said, “What do you mean ...California? You two are going to love living in London...”Tony said, “London???” Jillian and JACK were embracing by the window, while Chrissie and Smethells were in the front yard, in each other’s arms, and Sarah barked at a little dog in the yard next door. Grandfather walked down the street, opened the garden gate and entered the path to the house.

****  
  



End file.
